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Thoughts inspired by the movies <<Shrink>> (directed by, written by Thomas Moffett, based on the book by Henry Rearden), and <<The History Boys>> (directed by Nicholas Hytner, written by Alan Bennett)

“It’s never gonna go away, is it?”

“No, but we’re still here. There’s something.”

—— from <<Shrink>>

It starts with happiness. Then the world crashes on us.

Sadness, suicide. Pain.

The shadow of suicide haunts everyone of us. The grief is unbearable. What meaning is there in life when our loved one is gone? And suicide? How is death to be understood when we couldn’t understand her when she was alive?

The pain, only deepened by those happy memories. The more you think about it, the less you want to let go. How can you? When grief is the only way you can keep her close by, it will just drag you deeper and deeper down, and like quicksand when you want to escape.

I guess it does make sense that ‘It’s not ”lest we forget”, but ”lest we remember”. There is no better way to forget than by commemorating it.’ That must be why we have funerals and burials and monuments and memorials. To draw a spot in the living world for the deceased, for the living to bury memories and love that can be no more. To forbid those tender feelings to linger any longer, to have a secure place for these emotions to be left to peace.

But does the sadness ever leave? Death always leaves us to ponder the meaning of life. What meaning is there in life when our loved one is gone forever?

This whirlpool of questions, all hammering into the unknown. It doesn’t matter, right? Days come and go, people appear and leave, things happen and pass, like scenary out of a bus window. The meaning will surface eventually, when things want to be understood. There is time. There is a time for everything.

“It’s never gonna go away, is it?”

“No, but we’re still here. There’s something.”

 

Yes, there’s always something. Live it, and you will be surprised.

20th October 2013

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